orrrr I’m back to my old one I made in my younger days.
Any who’s here’s my fresh start
orrrr I’m back to my old one I made in my younger days.
Any who’s here’s my fresh start
Before you read this, scroll to the bottom of this page and CLICK PLAY. Go on. I’ll wait!
I’ve missed my creative outlet and I’ve missed catching up on everyone’s creative content. T h i s is what gives me life. And lets my hair down (ironic it’s currently in a messy ponytail).
Word vomit. Here we go. So I’m 22 now. Spent the craziest and wildest 10 days in Italy with a great friend of mine, Cynthia.
I want to do more. Tap into my potential. Be happy. And stop making excuses for myself.
I’ve been partaking in a spin class as a workout! And it’s been great. The coaches and owner are all so so so nice – it makes it easier to stick with them!
I moved. Had a career change. Had someone pass away.
And before I can even catch a breath something changes.
But a start back is a start.
My agency renewed my contract today so I think it’s a great time to really tap into what I believe my true calling is. To create and present a platform that is worth sharing and benefits not only myself but somehow someway, someone else.
And I truly am working on how I can change my current lifestyle to cater more to my dreams and goals. If you have any tips for me, shoot em down below!
Until then, keep checking back. Sign up for updates! Love y’lls
Travel Blog Post w/ Itinerary coming soon.
Until then Travel Video:
You know what they say. You’ve said. I’ve said. We’ve all said it at one point.
“Movies/TV Shows are unrealistic. They aren’t real.”
But they’re real people (sometimes CGI…) using their real experiences to convey a believable story.
Sure not all fuckboys have hearts in real life; and no the planet Valerian doesn’t exist; trapeze artists can’t sing and perform a musical number in one take and maybe mermaids really can’t walk on land while having perfect hair.
But these movies/tv shows/songs even maybe even music videos impact us because of how they relate to us.
They remind us to dream. To work hard. That hey maybe this isn’t the climax of your story where you’re on top of the world – but maybe it’s the beginning.
Maybe this is the development of your character before your ready to take on the biggest challenge yet.
But what after? Does it happen once and we accept it and we die and die after having had our happily ever after?
Or is it a vicious cycle that keeps looping over and over?
Until it…truly is the end? We all work hard towards our goals for that “One Day…. X will happen.”
Do we realize that we’re constantly saying that?
“One day I’ll be in first grade, and I’ll FINALLY have homework like the big kids on my block”
“One day I’ll be in middle school – I’ll have the best grades, have a cute boyfriend, and wear the best clothes” (Bless Justice & Limited Too for robbing my parents’ money)
“One day I’ll be in high school and PROM will be MAGICAL and everything will be perfect.”
“One day I’ll work at Disney as a princess, and then I’ll have it all”
“One day I’ll work at a nice company. Where I’ll have benefits, consistent money flow whilst pursuing other dreams on the side”
and it continues.
Along the way we’ll hid times where it seems we’re coasting and staying stagnant. Not knowing what our next “One day” is. Wondering…God damn, where is MY Happily Ever After?
But. isn’t life about creating happiness and finding it each and every day? Finding the values in the little successes, and even the failures. We appreciate the moments in our lives best once they’ve passed.
Hell, the beginning of this year I was swimming in debt I couldn’t see my way out, and now I’m going to Italy with one of the greatest friends I could have a month away?
I have friends who from far away I’m rooting for each and every day. I see their potential, their beauty, their weaknesses and their strengths (all beautiful) who still have those moments where they feel alone.
I feel that way sometimes.
I drive down PCH to get home. And with some music. I have all the time in the world to self reflect. And decide if I’m ordering food home that night, but besides the point.
I’ve noticed more recently than ever – I can drift off into a funk.
A funk that’s hard to get out of.
But once we think about things that make us happy. And the possibilities of the future. And the possibilities of what even the next day can bring. The endless dreams pull me out of the funk. And if you’re in one – I hope they pull you out of yours.
Recently a series of unfortunate events have occurred for me to realize…food for thought:
Who we truly are. The skeletons we hide in our closets. The “ugly” parts about our lives that we try to hide from those around else – fear of them being scared away…
Sometimes it can help to let a few into the light of that closet. It might catch a couple breaths of fresh air for you.
And know you’re never alone.
With love Xx,
And with that, that’s what I have to share!!! Let me know what you think and what you would add! Til next time my loves,
Happy Valentine’s Day. And Ash Wednesday.
My favorite number is 14 yet I’ve always been conflicted with Valentine’s Day in itself. I used to hate it, believed it was truly created by Hallmark, and was sobbing last year when someone betrayed me and my trust on this very day a year ago. Let me tell you scrolling through the feeds of Facebook and Instagram posts and tweets last year took a toll on me.
I was upset. Angry. Mad. Frustrated.
But this year? Super hopeful. I’m happy! And that’s huge. I’d rather be happier and single than miserable with the wrong person.
This has been the longest time that I’ve been single. It’s been a conscious decision for most of the time haha. During this time I’ve met and *ahem* spent time with the highest number of different guys for me. And wow, dating is exhausting. Not the most fun, but definitely has taught me a lot of lessons.
Wow this post was hard to consolidate all the emotions I’m feeling into one post. But I DID IT!!! 😀
Also Blogging is way more convenient and easy than Youtubing I’m just sayin.
Anyway I LOVE YOU in case you haven’t heard it from anyone else today.
I wish you the best. Happy Ash Wednesday. Happy Valentine’s Day! Happy Wednesday,
I know it’s a Tuesday… but truthfully I was sick in bed all day yesterday so this is my real Monday.
Being sick and stuck in my bed helped me realize how energetic my mind is. It’s a catch-22: I’m in bed and therefore able to comprehend all the issues concerning my life: holes in friendships; debt I need to pay; appointments I need to attend; and future bills that are to come – on top of goal/dream planning; and designing the lifestyle I desire to live (yet on the otherhand I have zero energy to get out of bed to do any of those things with an eye infection and all the chills, nose running for its life; migraine that sounds like bullets in my head; and a bird’s nest of a mane).
Telling you it wasn’t a gucci mane.
But coming back to my real ” Monday ” aka today Tuesday, I’m tackling everything head on.
It’s difficult because as a 21 year old I want to fall back to my 2 year old self where everything was taken care of for me.
But no progress will come from it. True I truly have myself to get me out of the messes I myself have gotten myself into (thanks….younger, stupid me) but there’s no challenge God will place in our lives if we aren’t ready for them.
Comfort is the enemy of progress. And I’m ready to digest this progress.
In December 2017, my best friend Summer and I went to Tokyo, JPN to reunite with our best friend/soul sister, Jules!
Here’s my amateur video compilation of our trip. 🙂
There’s something I forget to do. Something I forget to take in or let go of once in a while. and that’s: to take a breath.
I’m usually a one-track mind…but that track that goes off in my head? Goes at the speed of a whirlwind. I catch myself over analyzing, over calculating, over obsessing over anything and everything which has been a great strength but also my Achilles’ heel. Because, doubt easily clouds over my mind and the moment something goes unplanned for worse versus better, I let that cloud consume me.
When the year first started, I reflected to 10 years ago – as a child, I let my imagination run wild and free. I dreamed I would one day be able to influence and entertain people. I wanted to be happy. Nothing was out of my reach…especially when my family laughed at those dreams.
Math and Science they’ve always pushed.
And though I thrived in those subjects in my education career, my heart to pursue a different avenue has always been there.
January 2018 was rough. But if there’s anything the past few years have taught me – it’s that 1) nothing comes from being comfortable, 2) my bounce back WILL ALWAYS be stronger than my setbacks, and 3) i need to dream and believe like that little girl I once was.
My 2018 vision board stands tall on my wall reminding me each day: what life do I want to create?! Why HAVEN’T I STARTED?! WHAT am I waiting for?!
It’s true. Consider this my trial month. And as it’s ending soon – I can easily switch avenues and pretend to be someone else I’m not with a “new account” to try again.
OR I can step up. Work hard. Play harder. Put in more effort. Take in more risks. and UPGRADE to the premium life I desire.
And to the future me reading this back: Take it easy on yourself. Goddamn you’ve only had the blog up for one day and you’re beating yourself up because you don’t know how to categorize your blog posts into pages? Breathe. Slow down. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Pace yourself and you’ll learn. 🙂