FeBOOary 2k18 – February Monthly Playlist

Im going to keep this short and sweet especially since I’m late to posting my playlist up.

Click Here -> February Playlist on Apple Music

Click Here -> February Playlist on Spotify


Click Here -> March Playlist on Apple Music

Click Here -> March Playlist on Spotify

Almost ICYMI: —> Last Month’s Playlist

Like last month; 28 days means I picked 28 songs (total of 89 in my playlist for this month…music was a little rough to find) that summed up my mood, feelings, and memories with February 2018. 🙂 Per usual, clicking the title will open the song in a new tab! ❤ Share your playlists/favorite songs down below!!!

  1. Little Doubts (feat. Aviella) by Spirit (Dance/Electronic)- I have been a fan of Aviella’s voice for a while! Spirix is a newer artist for me; but hey have good vocals, and a nice drop, and I’m in! Image result for aviella
  2. Iron & Steel by Quinn XCII (Pop)- I can’t remember if this was in my January playlist… but QUINN XCII (pronounced Quinn 92) is an incredible artist and writer!!! (Also him and his newly wed wife are adorable) This song talks about when you end something of significance…and talking about the remorse afterwards.Image result for iron and steel quinn xcii
  3. Pray for Me by The Weeknd, Kendrick Lamar (Hip-Hop/Rap)- OKAY OKAY OKAY. First of all – and I won’t digress: IF you haven’t seen Black Panther, you need to…like yesterday….and take me with you. The movie itself I feel woke the power and strength in not just minorities, or females, but EVERYONE. Especially since Black Panther is a strong and powerful ruler yet also humble, down to earth, gentle and caring. I feel that its both rare and important to have both sides. Obviously I’m also a Weeknd fan (his VOCALS! God damn) and Kendrick Lamar fan (birthday twin whaddup) so this song is GOLD for me. Image result for pray for me weeknd
  4. Home With You by Madison Beer (Pop) – First of all Madison Beer is a woman crush and a half. She is such a mood and the fact that she’s talented and absolutely intelligent is just wow a vibe. This song is a bop. Especially describes the lack of effort guys put out nowadays. Especially with dating apps, I feel like online interactions dehumanizes the other party a lot. We say and do things we wouldn’t do or say had we met someone in person. It’s a shame bc who wants to date their phone? Image result for home with you madison beer
  5. Crazy by MAALA (Alt/Indie) – This was a song that was suggested to be my some algorithm. And I love it. It’s chill vibes, and describes that feeling where you meet someone so incredible you’re taken aback, and you feel that you don’t deserve it, and maybe sometimes push them away and convince yourself that you were “cRaZy” and that there’s no way in hell they actualllllly like you. but trust. they do. hehe. Image result for crazy by maala
  6. Anybody Else (Win and Woo Remix) (Pop) by JP Saxe and Win and Woo – LOVE his vocals! Feel free to check out the original. Describes those feelings you have knowing you like someone and could see something with them but … you’re not ready to make that jump with them. And deep down you know they’re on Chapter 10 of your love story and you’re barely reading the title. Image result for Anybody Else by JP Saxe
  7. Rearrange by Ella Vos Okay everyone freaked out asking what song this was when I shared it on my Insta Story& I’m with them. This song is amazing, big a long time fan of Ella Vos’s vocals… (Check out White Noise), this original song of hers is so raw and vulnerable. Really hits home when it describes someone trying to improve and better themselves and change positively for this other person/their SO that means a lot to them but after everything they realize maybe that SO/other person needs to be the one to “rearrange”. Image result for ella vos rearrange
  8. Because He Lives (Amen) by Matt Maher (Christian/Gospel) – Definition of an oldie but a goodie. I don’t talk about my faith that much because my relationship with my faith has been something I hold very sacred and very close to my heart. I feel sometimes from the outside I’m not “Christian enough” for some, and for others I’m “too Christian”. But February had me going through some rough moments…and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel for some situations is hard. This song came on randomly one night I needed it driving and it reminded me to have hope, strength, love, and think positively and being grateful for all I do have. IM ALIVE IM ALIVE BECAUSE HE LIVES Image result for Because He Lives (Amen) by Matt Maher
  9. The Comeback by Danny Gokey (Christian/Gospel…but really it’s not religious…it’s more Pop) – Another oldie but goodie 🙂 Like I’ve said, your COMEBACK will alwayyyysss be greater than any of your SETBACKS! If you’re going thru a tough time, or need reassurance. Listen to this. Life’s tough, but you’re tougher. Image result for The Comeback by Danny Gokey
  10. You’re Not Missing Me by Chelsea Cutler (Pop/Electronic) – Been a long time fan of Chelsea’s for the longest (since I heard Your Shirt come on at my dance class and I cried internally) Chelsea is incredibly talented. She writes and self produces all of her songs. I am so excited to be seeing her open for Quinn XCII later this month! FOR ME, this song represents someone who wears their heart on their sleeve that is so cautious and confused with their SO. That feeling that we feel that they don’t care about us as much as we do about them. Sometimes it’s the anxiety that claws away out of us that not only tears us down, but our relationship. Image result for You're Not Missing Me by Chelsea Cutler
  11. Cool (feat Marc E Bassy & Gucci Mane) by Felix Jeahn (Tropical House/Pop/Electronic/Rap) K. Marc. Gucci?! FELIX!!! All the baes, SLAYED it in this bop. Have you ever known someone for a long time that suddenly they come back and in one conversation you don’t recognize the cold/shadiness they’re throwing at you? Like they too cool or some shit…. NUH NUH “HMU WHEN YOURE OVER BEING COOOOOooooooL” Image result for Coolby Felix Jaehn 
  12. The Wave by R3hab feat. Lia Marie Johnson(Electronic/Pop), I actually remember in high school watching Lia’s videos and then meeting her at a party a year ago. Been a long time fan of R3hab for a while too. This song’s really chill vibes, just all about going with the flow 🙂 Image result for the wave r3hab
  13. Always (Spectrumix Remix) by The Him (House) Describes knowing someone so well….and you’ll always have a special place for them in your heart….and fantasizing that one day the perfect timing for you two will come to fruition .. like the old days. Image result for Always by The Him
  14. Out of Focus by Chelsea Cutler (Pop) – Wow. 14 happens to be my favorite number. Also just so happened to land on this song. I absolutely LOVE this song. Probably as much as I love Your Shirt. “It’s my fault if we go down, but I’m taking you with me” This song comes from her heart. I remember hearing this song in its early stages when Chelsea was just mixing the beats, and playing around the vocals. Shows the side that you realize someone isn’t meant for you but seeing them go out of focus isn’t easy for either sideImage result for out of focus chelsea
  15. Young by CVBZ  (Pop) – If you didn’t know I love CVBZ..well know you do (pronounced Cubs like bear cubs). He’s so down to earth! He wrote this track for the Chaim-hoe-kers for their album, Memories….Do Not Open, and ofc like anything they didn’t really give him that much credit for it. (Also check out Feels Great that CVBZ is on with Fetty Wap) I’m so glad he posted this version. It’s so special hearing any song sung and performed by the original artist…. gives you a unique view of the song. Image result for young cvbz
  16. What the Hell Happened to Us by Quinn XCII & Kailee Morgue (Pop) Image result for What the Hell Happened to Us by Quinn XCII & Kailee Morgue (Pop)I loved this song from Quinn XCII as well! Talks about how you had that cinematic romance attraction but then it fleeted in the next moment.
  17. Broken by lovelytheband(Alternative/Indie) I LOVE THIS SONG YOU GUYS!!!!!!! THIS SONG IS !! EVERYTHING !! It literally describes !! ME !! all the time. like friends. boys. everything. When people are so perfect it scares me….but I meet someone who’s trash on the inside, and im like….hi i love you Image result for Broken by lovelytheband
  18. Like I Do by David Guetta, Martin Garrix, Brooks My man is out here killing :’) Everyone knows I’m in love with same initialed, same age, saw him as I turned 21, Martin Garrix (I’ll wait for him to be single again). This song is a  ! BOP ! BANGER ! ALL OF THE ABOVE! He/I mean anyone…truly won’t find them someone who’d love them….*ahem* Like I DO. Image result for Like I Do by David Guetta, Martin Garrix, Brooks
  19. Psycho by Post Malone ft Ty Dolla $ign Even if you don’t like Post you gotta admit this is an amazing song. :’) Image result for Psycho by Post Malone
  20. Wolves (Owen Norton Remix) by Selena Gomez & Marshmello (Electronic/Pop) Old song, but NEW Remix. Really did what Marshmello should’ve done. Gives you those late night vibes of when you’re longing/craving someone and you just want to be with them. Image result for wolves remix owen
  21. Vincent by Ellie Goulding (Pop) I love this song :’) Everyone knows I have a super strong and tight relationship with my youngest brother, Vincy. And Ellie has always been highly worshipped by me. Long time fan. This song surprisingly describes my relationship with Vincent so so so perfectly. And what a surprise that this song shares his special and sweet name. ❤ (Note: This is a cover of Don McLean’s original song) Ellie Goulding
  22. P E A C E by Hillsong Young & Free (Christian/Gospel) – Chill Vibes 🙂 Puts you in a happy, serene, calm mood Image result for P E A C E by hillsong young
  23. Out of my Mind (feat. Riley Clemmons) by Tritonal  Describes that moment where you feel insane, out of your mind, when you like someboddyyyyImage result for Out of my Mind (feat. Riley Clemmons) by Tritonal
  24. Bed of Roses (feat. Stanaj) by Afrojack (Dance/Electronic) Love the beat! Vocals! Love this. Especially had to add a rose song, in February’s playlist Image result for Bed of Roses  by Afrojack
  25. The Girl That’s Underneath (feat. Jabbar Hakeem) by Jake Miller – I’m excited Jake finally put a new song out!! Love it! 🙂 Image result for The Girl That's Underneath (feat. Jabbar Hakeem) by Jake Miller
  26. Hangover Love by Kap Slap (Dance/Electronic) – finally…bc drunk in love? what about the aftermath… Image result for Hangover Love
  27. Clothes Off by Amiigos – OLDIE but newly discovered for me.. I’ve always loved the original song, so Amiigos’ version/take on this makes it super upbeat! Image result for Amiigos CLothes off
  28. This is How We Do It (feat. Audien) by Party Pupils – And to end this: THIS FEEL GOOD SONG REMAKE! If you didn’t know, Max Schneider  (Lights Down Low??) is part of the duo producer group that is Party Pupils! Absolutely amazing, especially since they teamed up with Audien! Love this love them. Super talented. Image result for This is How We Do It (feat. Audien) by Party Pupils



CANT BELIEVE I FINALLY FINISHED. Woke up from a nap and cranked this out in 2 hours. Welp. Back to bed it is everyone. Thanks for reading!!!


Nighty night,





How fitting that Halsey’s latest music video for one of the songs that has made me the most emotional due to how scary accurate it represents my life. She took every single emotion, word I every wanted to say, thought I ever had and sang it into my soul.

“I’ve missed your calls for months it seems
Don’t realize how mean I can be
‘Cause I can sometimes treat the people
That I love like jewelry
‘Cause I can change my mind each day
I didn’t mean to try you on
But I still know your birthday
And your mother’s favorite song
So I’m sorry to my unknown lover
Sorry that I can’t believe that anybody ever really
Starts to fall in love with me
Sorry to my unknown lover
Sorry I could be so blind
Didn’t mean to leave you
And all of the things that we had behind
Oh. Oh. Oh.
I run away when things are good
And never really understood
The way you laid your eyes on me
In ways that no one ever could
And so it seems I broke your heart
My ignorance has struck again
I failed to see it from the start
And tore you open ’til the end”

When it comes to dating (which I know I suck at but hope to improve) … I tear myself apart and stow away every piece of me with walls towering over each piece away guarding it. The thing is … sometimes I don’t even know my own password to let those guards down. They don’t listen to me.

And so it takes someone brave with patience to use their hands and manually painfully pull each guard down.

Sometimes I get emotional and I get lost in my own words. And people will call me crazy, unstable.

Or maybe I’m longing for a real connection but scared to have one.

Because the ones who pass thru the thorns to help mend my calloused heart – they’re the ones that are covered in scars, wounds, tears from the aftermath. And it overwhelms me.

And so I hide away. My heart most of all in a deep special place. Praying one day the callouses will be removed and that the guards will be let down.

With time.

With love,


JanUReady? – January 2k18 Playlist

As aforementioned – instead of diary entries; I find it easier to track my mood, memories, and emotions with the poetry of other artists: my music.

More recently then before (especially with the resources of technology) I have been able to share more of my music taste with you all – the world. It has not only helped me in ways not only by making stronger friendships thru our common love for music but also helped me feel understood…and discover other artists.

Each month I have people ask for the link to my playlists – I’m not saying I have the best taste; and I’m no DJ (hah, YET….sike who knows who knows) but it has been the highest form of flattery I could receive and I am so glad and humbled and HONORED that you have the interest in little old Chelle’s music diary.

Without further adew, January 2k18’s playlist:

Jan U Ready?

Listen On Apple Music

Listen On Spotify

Also, my biggest tip? Always listen on shuffle. 🙂

You know how you add some songs to your playlists and they don’t really suck but they kinda just exist….well with there being 31 days in January (I’ll pick 31 songs – even though my playlist has 129…and counting, oops) These are the top of the month’s playlist (Of course you can venture to the Spotify or Apple Music Playlists for other songs)

(Links will open in new tabs to their Youtube links)

  1. Shot for Me – Devon Baldwin (Explicit) – At first I had no idea this was a Drake cover, I’m dumb I’m dumb. Because when you listen to this – you can feel her emotion and pain. She’s probably experiencing a lot of emotions watching one of her first great loves build a new life with his new love. And that’s hard. I’ve definitely lost someone I really cared about in my life but have yet to have to see him build a new love with someone else. I too will probably be torn apart the day that happens. Image result for shot for me devon baldwin
  2. Icy Grl – Saweetie (Explicit) – Do you ever have that moment where you lose sight of who you are. You’re beaten down. You feel physically, mentally, emotionally you’re not in the places you want to be. We sometimes forget to celebrate and commend ourselves for where we are NOW. Being more present and appreciative of not only ourselves but the places we are in our lives. Why is it that we appreciate the good times when we’re in the bad. Can’t we appreciate the good and the “bad”? That’s what this song does for me. Image result for icy grl
  3. A Million Dreams –  Ziv Zaifman, Hugh Jackman, (The Greatest Showman) – Ok…there’s a reason why the end of December til now I’ve had the entire album in my playlist. This film has become my new all time favorite movie (a separate blog post on it’s own or else I will go on forever…) out of all the songs I chose this one because if you’ve seen the film you know this is the transition song (January my transition period?) from Hugh Jackman’s character, PT Barnum as a young kid to a man. I cry every time I see the film during this song because he, the character, has to endure so much and still be told the dreams – “the world he wishes to create” is impossible. And it reminded me of the wonder and creativity we had when we were kids. The freedom to believe “when I grow up….my dreams will become reality in world I’m going to live in” that we’ve gradually lost as we’ve gotten older. (This whole album is amazing) Image result for a million dreams
  4. Rewrite the Stars – Zendaya & Zac Efron All I’m gonna say is…. “You know I want you….it’s not a secret I try to hide” Image result for rewrite the stars
  5. Good Together (Acoustic) – Shy Martin – The original version is good too. I think this song does a very good job about describing a relationship where you both know you’re not right for each other yet things are sooooo good when you’re together in person. Image result for good together shy martin
  6. Superhuman – Slander feat. Eric Leva – I know this isn’t new, but it’s new for me to find it. I feel like this song is able to describe the fear of starting something new with someone yet you can’t deny the magnetic chemistry between you two…. 🙂 Image result for superhuman slander
  7. Vertigo – DOLF & Caroline Pennell – Vertigo is the state where things are moving around you and you’re almost stuck/still – can’t move. There were a lot of times January felt like that for me – where I felt like life was occurring and happening around me – and I was playing a more passive role, a bystander in my own story. Image result for vertigo dolf
  8. Blah Blah Blah – Artistic Raw feat Emelie Cyréus Have you ever gone on a date or just met someone in general that felt the need to exert their control, or just need to win every argument. It’s almost like they wanted to know that they’re smarter than you, only their ideas were right? They’re the ones that use jargon you don’t use on a day to day basis and instead of coming off as hotthey come off as pretentious and cocky. Image result for blah blah blah emelie
  9. Do Right – Glades – This is such a feel good song to remember that any friendship, relationship can be done right when you “do right by your neighbor and they’ll do right by you”. Image result for do right glades
  10. She Loves Control – Camila Cabello – Basically me. Image result for she loves control
  11. Finesse (Remix) – Bruno Mars feat Cardi B“DROP TOP PORSCHE…. Rollie on MY WRIST” (The Four Version is amazing too…UM ZHAVIAImage result for finesse cardi b
  12. Ain’t That Why – R3Hab & Krewella – When people play that they don’t want you…then they come back and though you’ve changed and moved on, they’re still stuck in the past. Image result for ain't that why r3hab & krewella
  13. Into You – Matisse & Sadko – I accidentally played this for this guy I went on a date with by accident. (He handed me the aux in his fancy Mustang sports car) And it’s funny because as low of the expectation I had for him before the date (I didn’t know he was rich until after okay) he blew my expectations out of the water. We definitely were able to build a deeper emotional connection underneath the physical connection….And yeah I was into him *teehee* (I feel like I’ve been afraid to let myself fall for someone or even fathom the idea of liking someone or being into them….this helps acknowledge, that hey those feelings are okay!) Image result for into you matisse
  14. Come Home – Sad Eye – This month I’ve done a lot of reflecting especially when someone from my past who I had last seen (about 2-3 months ago…lol the lyric) contacted me out of the blue and despite the fact that I hadn’t thought I’d hear from him ever, it was unexpected and I felt a lot of emotions and was trying to process them. Image result for come home sad eye
  15. Killing Me Softly With His Song – Zhavia version. SHES ONLY 16 can we just. Wow. She’s going to make it SO FAR. And wow she killed this version of the song. Could feel the vibes, the emotion. Made it so relatable. (SHE PERFORMED THIS SICK TOO!) Image result for killing me softly zhavia
  16. For You (Fifty Shades Freed) – Liam Payne & Rita Ora…. Not going to lie I finally watched the second movie this year, and dead ass CRIED (which I never do unless there’s a dog or child on the screen) but I cried  because I see myself a lot in Christian Grey’s character when it comes to being bad at relationships yet swallowing your pride and bettering yourself for hope that you’ve found that once in a lifetime love. Image result for for you liam rita
  17. Call Me – Tritonal; I love calls more than texts. (More personable; kinda old fashioned) So this song is literally me. Call me crazy, but hey at least youre calling. Image result for call me tritonal
  18. God’s Plan – Drake; “I don’t wanna die for them to miss me; Guess I see the things that they wishin’ on me” “ She ask do you love me, I tell her only partly, I only love my bed and my momma, IM SORRY” – Literally why is this every guy I get involved with. Image result for God's Plan drake
  19. Champagne Clouds – Malia Civetz ; This chorus gets me. Wow. When you’re driving down the road; just blast this chorus. Gets you in such a weird nice vibe/mood. I LOVE it. This song puts me in a dreamy state. Image result for champagne clouds malia
  20. The Middle – Zedd ft Marren Morris, GreyE V E R Y T H I N G Marren Morris is singing. Is me. Every single word. Why won’t he just meet me in the middle? Image result for zedd the middle
  21. 3:00 AM – Finding HopeLate night chills. (Highly recommend listening to at night especially if you’re up and reading this randomly and haven’t played any of the songs…Yep play this) When I first heard this I was actually was getting up at 2-3 am subconsciously with these thoughts. Late night thoughts. Wondering, calculating everything. Dreamed about someone, wake up, and boom there’s a text on my phone. This song describes the fact that I want to be able to tell that person how much I care still – the feelings they wonder if I still have – I do to a certain degree..have them. But you can’t tell them because you wonder if the place you’re in is risk leaving from if this all doesn’t work. But damn you let your thoughts consume you at 3am. Image result for 3 am finding hope
  22. Heaven – Julia Michaels (Fifty Shades Freed) This is by far their greatest soundtrack out of all three movies. “Love’s my religion but he was my faith.” “Falling for him was like falling for grace” Talks about catching yourself really fall for someone you didn’t expect to…and you don’t know if it’s right or wrong to be with them “Cause I’ll know it’s true….they say…all good boys go to heaven, but bad boys bring Heaven to you”. It’s the catch-22. Image result for heaven julia michaels
  23. BOOM – Tiesto, Gucci Mane, – K if there’s ever a song to wake you tf up or put you in a hoe dance mood. It’s this one. Damn this song is soooooo good. Love the beat. Love Gucci. Image result for boom tiesto gucci
  24. Static – Cazette – This song actually came out in 2016, but I heard it in a store and ya know, had to have it. Again like the others – I love the vibe and lyrics of this song. Very relatable. Image result for static cazzette
  25. S.L.U.T. – Bea Miller, You know those singers that you love but you forget exist and check up on to see what they’re up to? Well Bea Miller is that for me. I absolutely loved her music video for this. We’ve all had others place labels/rumors/their opinions on us – this is the reminder, to keep doing you boo boo.  Image result for slut bea miller
  26. Time – Swanky Tunes & Going Deeper – Love this jam. Love love love.Image result for time swanky tunes
  27. Jealous (No Sleep Remix) – KehlaniYou ever have those friendships/relationships where the person only wanted to be with you for physical reasons. It could be because of social status, or your money, or your other friends. They don’t care about your actual well being. They are parasites trying to feed off of you and shrivel away your happiness and to put you down and keep you down. Image result for jealous no sleep remix
  28. Bloom (Colin Parker Remix) – The Paper Kites; Cute romantic love song. Image result for bloom paper kites colin remix
  29. Your shirt (Yatsby Remix) – Y’lls know that I’m obsessed with Chelsea Cutler, can’t wait to see her in person! This song has always got me in the feels. “I don’t wanna miss somebody who’s not missin me” Well I love this remix, it had to make it onto my January playlist. Image result for chelsea cutler
  30. Uncover ( Millesim Remix) – Zara Larsson – Absolutely love Zara, and wish she had newer songs out, but this remix made this oldie back into a goodie for me. Image result for uncover zara
  31. ****Last but not least**** Outta Here (GUMMYB3ARS Remix) by Two CanOpen the lyrics up.       It describes how I felt about January especially towards the beginning of the month. Image result for outta here two can

Share your playlist with me! 🙂 Let me know what you’ve been listening to…. and if you dig/relate to any of the ones I’ve been listening to this past month!